What makes a 'SALE' sign a siren call for women, more than men? What prompts some deep biological imperative within us to stand in line to buy a skirt at a deep discount? A line reaching 90 minutes back from the counter should be some kind of deterrent, yet there we all were last night, wishing we could just go home after a long day at the salt mines.

WHY?!!

I'm serious. It's the worst lemming-like behavior exhibited (second only to gaper's block in traffic and news channels' inability to report on anything remotely original) and we do it voluntarily. I just stopped in the store, since it was closing and the tattered remains were all 80% off. That's not a bad price, and so I just wandered thru with no intent. I could (conveniently) skip all the slacks, since they were sizes 0/1, 3/4, and some 5/6. There were 6 racks. SIX RACKS. Do they realize that perhaps, just perhaps, Callista Flockhart does not live here? I understand the need to stock up, but come ON. (If you're of this size, head over to the Merchandise Mart before Friday. You can have 500 pairs of black pants to last you the rest of your days...for a mere $5 each) However, some cute skirts and a sweater later had me deciding that I could try the line as long as I was home for Buffy.

Shut up. I've spent 6 years of my Tuesday nights on the show. I'm not gonna start missing it now.

So the waiting began...and I worked my way thru the latest Newcity, my USNews & World Report (another sign of pending maturity is buying news magazine subscriptions, not only Bust), and started the newest Discover while wondering just what in the Sam Hill was taking these women forever to buy their crap? I kept track of the time...and then the line moved!

Or not. It was a shift, not an actual step forward. Back to my magazine. Then, it was time for the catalogs. The Company Store. Gaiam. Linensource. I was hitting bottom...and Buffy was on in 15 minutes. Why couldn't I leave the line? Why couldn't I put my things down, walk out the door, and head home? I didn't need any thing I was holding, and I can tell you that none of the others did either. Hell, the store had been closed since 5:30! What were we thinking?

That's right...SALE. It's a magical word, SALE. It makes people buy some of the most crappy and/or unessential things out there. Remember the cell phone commercial starring the "Jade Toad of China", found at a garage sale for only a dollar? I'll tell you a secret--she would've bought it anyway. Future value be damned, it was marginally cute, it caught her attention, and it was a dollar.

So, if that's what women do, what do men do? The only thing I've ever seen is the line outside of Best Buy the weekend after Christmas, and men were shivering on the sidewalk while others sat in their (heated) cars until the doors opened. Do men think sales are great? Do they even notice them? What's their secret to dealing with them?