~~~~~

For you, I endured a theater full of opinionated movie-reviewers (did you know Edward Norton was in American History Ten? me neither), both Freak and Bill commanding us to scream thankyou at the sponsors, and the film dying after 30 minutes because of a cold weather-induced fire alarm. I even kept my comments (mostly) to myself...but it's The Recruit, and you still owe me.

Guess what? The CIA recruits only the best and the brighest to be their spies. Luckily for the moviegoing public, the best and brightest are also quite attractive. In the latest 'the government is cool, come work for us' recruitment video, er, movie, you too can learn to be a NOC in 20 minutes! I'm still not sure what a NOC is, except they're the unnamed stars on the CIA wall of the dead. Ironically enough, our hero thinks his father was a NOC, and so his MIA status might really mean he's dead... or is he? Al Pacino recruits a bunch of slacker graduates who have nothing better to do with their winter than learn to run, prove they can shoot, and evade capture while looking edgy and hot. These recruits are nothing like Chevy Chase (it's a pity) but seem to be all-American, brilliant people who take to training like fish to water.

So Kurt Wimmer, writer of The Thomas Crown Affair and The Sphere, got together with Roger Towne to write The Recruit. It's an interesting mix, since Towne's last hit was The Natural and he's only written one screenplay since. It's no surprise they brought in Roger Donaldson to direct since he's a good 'star wrangler'--he's worked with the big names in Cocktail, Cadillac Man, The Getaway, *and* Dante's Peak. He's backed by the crack production team of Jeff Apple (this man created the Home Shopping Channel), and Spyglass Entertainment (they're just in it for the money).

These goofballs are all banking on this original plot: the son (Farrell) of a MIA businessman is searching for information regarding his father, and gets played by a CIA recruiter (Pacino) by promises of said info. Farrell trains to become a spy, does spy-work, finds out he's a bit stupid but has a way with the ladies, and listens to Pacino alternately praise and punish him until there are lots of guns pointing at Colin's manly chest.

The end.

Not much plot, not much of a movie, but a great excuse to play with gadgets and film chase scenes starring a VW Bug vs. a big red truck. I will give the movie (and writers) credit for the movie's pacing. It's hard to create a movie that has constant action, even when there's a long period of dialogue. This time, there's action, more action, talking and action, and then more action. I'm not saying it's genius writing, but it's fun and a good time. My major complaint is how such a supposedly intelligent guy can be such an idiot.

Unfortunately, while Colin Farrell is a great actor and has a wicked American accent, he doesn't have a good break-out vehicle here. And it's too bad that they're banking on Pacino's involvement to make it a 'quality' movie... because while it's not good, it's fun. And I don't think that's what they want to hear. Al Pacino (with truly gross yellow claw-like fingernails) has a cinematic vitae that's breathtaking; I don't need to tell you that. But it's disappointing that I don't find his intensity as...intense as it used to be. He's slipping, or he left it in Alaska. I saw Insomnia. I saw this. Between the two, I'm not impressed. He's given a (supporting?)cast half or one-third his age; he's got hair that's older than Farrell. On the other hand, Colin Farrell, he of the German Shepard eyebrows, impressed me 10 ways to Sunday. This man can grow and maintain a day-old stubble like nobody's business, and he studied at the Vaughn School of Forehead Furrowing. As the hero, he needs a love interest--and in walks Bridget Moynaham, a lovely young lady who fills the "poor man's Ashly Judd" niche nicely. In fact, she's so great that In Style just informed me how to 'steal this look' and now so can you. Yeah, she's cute. Yeah, she gets naked. Yeah, she's a spy. Move on...her bony shoulders need the fatty deposits from Al Pacino's under-eye area transplanted and smoothed over them. Last but not least, *her* love interest, Gabriel Macht--you might remember him as Colin Farrell's brother in American Outlaws, but he looks better there as a brunette. He also acts better in the Old West, too. There are other people in the movie, of course--the stock characters in any governmental movie--but I think if I had been cast, I would want to be 'Cute girl in bar #1'.

So there you have it. Not a great movie, not a hideous movie, but I'm sure it'll be used as the date-movie of the next 2 weeks. It's got action and a hot lead, which should appeal to pretty much everybody. Just, whatever you do, don't pay full price. Save it for something better...something like Biker Boyz!

I'm kidding.

Kidding.