~~One of my dearest friends has the highly irrational fear that an alligator, defying both logic and gravity, can not only survive Chicago's sewers AND climb up six flights of plumbing to emerge viciously and victoriously *from her toilet*. She didn't say if this would happen with her actually sitting on it or not.

~~A man I met, who seems to be utterly normal and rational, is frightened of both okra and tapioca. We're not talking 'blech, okra' or something anti-food, he literally cannot be near either item. However, when a giant pearl of tapioca is put in front of him, he'll attempt to dissect it with a fork and a chopstick. (They were the only implements available) He still can't *touch* it.

It's *tapioca*, not e bola. C'mon, buddy.

~~"If attacked by a shark, punch it in the nose." The hell? I don't think that advice will be at the forefront of my mind when a shark's gaping maw is lunging forcefully AT MY BODY. I know I sure as hell wouldn't put my arm (in slo-mo due to the water's resistance) closer to its teeth. Voluntarily.

Who would? Well, I did a little research: Don't punch it in the nose. "Aim for the gills and eyes." Riiiight. Much better. Reaching *past* the sharp teeth, find the little beady eyes or gills on the SIDE of its head.

I'll stick with just staying away from sharks, thankyouverymuch.

~~The misery of waking up for Monday morning is mitigated slightly by rolling twice (TWICE!) to get out of bed. For a gal who's been in a wee bed for waaay too long, it's quite nice. Lolling about on a Saturday morning will become fun again, since I've the space to loll. Let the lolling commence!

~~When I start my day by personally moving a sofa from the back patio out to the alley, on my way to work, I've effectively banished any 'case of the Mondays' with my total self-empowerment. Seriously: how many people do you know start their week like that? An ENTIRE. HIDEOUS. UGLY. SOFA.

I rule.

~~~~~~

Lastly, but not leastly: a humongously ginormous shout-out to quite possibly the most important person in my life~~