The weather promised storms, winds from every possible direction, and more storms.

It delivered.

We hopped on board up in Milwaukee around 4, left the dock around 5:15 fully prepared for inclement weather, and headed out to the starting area. Our start time was 6:30, so we hoped the weather would clear by then. We had a good 20 second warning by Ian that every other boat was getting smacked by a big wind, and maybe we should prepare for it?, and then *wham*. It was crazy. Wait. Let me clarify. We were putting up the mainsail as this is becoming apparent, and as we're securing the halyard (that raises the sail) the boom wasn't controlled. Big wind=need for control. No control=bad. things. happening. Y'know, where the entire boat heels over about 89.5 degrees (almost putting the spreaders in the water) and I am scrambling *up* the deck, just holding on and figuring that we'll be back to normal soon enough, and my life-jacket is hauled up by one shoulder as my fellow crew assume I'm a goner (and really? it's nice to know they care) so then as I'm collapsing at the "top" of the boat, something is corrected and we slam down back to horizontal and I almost knock my savior right off the boat. It was a mad scramble, lemme tell you.

That was the first 5 minutes.

Then the storm blew itself out in about 15 minutes, and a huge, ginormous rainbow appeared (and both ends landed 'on' boats, so it was way cool) with full color, and we all went 'coool' and got ready to start the race and then *bleet* we were across the line right on the mark and we were off! We rocked, I tell you. We had a great start and a great first hour. But then... well, that front that was eating most of eastern Wisconsin was about to eat the entirety of Lake Michigan, starting with Milwaukee and making its way to Muskegon overnight. Wait, isn't that where... yeah. All night, we were hounded by these damn storms. Those comic stips of the storm cloud following just one person around all the time? Happens in real life, too.

So the second storm is full of sound and fury, and we're calmly reminded that in the case of lightening, one should refrain from touching metal bits on the boat, especially the mast and shrouds (the pieces helping keep the mast upright). Well, hell, cap'n, that sounds like a good idea! But the storms were beautiful, and inbetween the horrendously wet bits, it was breathtaking in its fierce beauty. However, have you ever noticed that after major storms like that, there isn't any wind? Well, it's true. And it was a gross injustice to deal with, being wind-driven and all. 3 hours later, we were still doing nothing as the wind came from, quite possibly, every direction within a 10-minute period. At one point, the helm had us sailing *back* towards Milwaukee, because 'that's where the wind is'. Um, yeah. Let's turn around and face EAST, shall we? Lovely. Off again, off again, jiggity-jig, and we are now screaming along at a wee 2.3 knots. It's 66.6 miles of race. You do the math. Our GPS has a feature that calculates the ETA, and it was not a reassuring number at any point of the race, especially before 4a. I had a few unfortunate mistakes on a spinnaker jibe (don't ask, but it was a group effort) and realized that perhaps sleeping was a good idea. However, really sleeping on the deck wasn't an option anymore so I weaseled my way onto a soft bunk and proceeded to get 3 30-minute naps. (You take what you can get.) I stumbled up to find that we had wind and a direction and something suspiciously like hope as we sailed in the lightening gloom.

**A note on this, and any long sailing trip: I am not blessed with the genetics that basically keep me warm; I lose heat with frightening abandon. Therefore, when I sail across the Lake ever, I wear no fewer than 3 layers. This trip: heat-retaining/wicking tank, short sleeved t, long sleeved t, thick fleece, leggings, insulated foul-weather bibs, thick socks, rubber boots, stocking cap, and all-weather jacket. Add the additional warmth of my huge-ass life jacket, and you have a purple & navy Sta-Puft girl. Who was still cold. On the return? Added another fleece and pair of leggings. It sorta helped. I'm doomed to being cold.**

Arrived in Muskegon, rafted off a boat who had their party going (and the 80s hits rockin), and was propelled to the clubhouse with dreams of a heated bathroom and breakfast. Brought rudely back to real life as the club was pumping out hits from the 90s, beginning with La Bouche and following it up with... could it be? Cotton-Eye Joe? I thought that song was destroyed. Hell. I'm in hell. It's just known as breakfast-denying Muskegon, obviously. Unfortunately, no breakfast...but we could have lunch! Tacos, brats, chicken, burgers. ugh. So we had food, returned to the boat, got some diesel, and were heading back to Chicago by 12:30p. We motored home (ave. 7 knots, yay!) thru rain (c'mon, you thought we were done with t-storms?!), clear skies, weak sun, unexplainable fog, more clear skies, and then--is that a front? Is that rain in the distance? Come. On. We motored home, which was quick and painless. Hell, we even had fun! We docked at 2:30a, visions of IHOP fueling us to the car. Of course, we had to dock in somebody else's slip since OURS WAS OCCUPIED, but that's not the issue. IHOP, overrun with club kids and PRIDErs, had a 45 minute wait. In 45 minutes, I could be home, showered, in bed, asleep. Home called, and I answered.

In the shower, I realized 2 things: I'm covered in bruises. Absolutely mottled the side of my left leg in a stunning display of where bones are close to the skin. And two? That heat my face wass giving off is real. It's so real that my impression of 'strawberry' is dead-on. Of course, since my nose and cheeks were the only parts of me available to the sun and wind, them's the breaks. And then, to add insult to injury? I couldn't fall asleep. At all.

Sunday, I had my first hangover. I think. If hangovers feel like I should be dead, then hangover it is. I'm sorry for anyone who does this on a regular basis... me, I was just dehydrated. I lived for 2 days on soda and various forms of junk food, and not by choice. I'm sure that we were all on sugar highs, but nobody noticed! But water...and an intense craving for fruits and veggies. And a big fat steak. If I eat sugar again in the next week, I'll choke.

I take that back. I'm going home on Thursday. There will be desserts at home that are irresistible.
::ahem::
::waving:: hi, momma!
So there you have it. My weekend, in a nutshell. I wouldn't trade sailing for anything, really. It's... massive, when you're out on the Lake and it's you and the sky and the water and there's nothing, literally nothing around as far as the eye can see other than nature and even that is awesomely fierce with its potential for wanton destruction.

It's a lot like the country of home, actually.

And the clouds? Man...I can't describe what we saw. We saw this one that was a huge swirl, you know that if conditions had been a bit different, it would have been a tornado/hurricane no question whatsoever.

Wicked-cool.

Wicked.

~~~~~

Movie/TV commentary tomorrow. I'm late for softball.