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You need to start watching *the* guiltiest pleasure of guilty pleasures available for tv viewing this summer: Stripperella. It's full of great one-liners, and my favorite from the first show: "Evil-doers, get ready to be turned into evil-don'ters!"

Comic genius, my friends. TNN, Thursday nights. It's like VIP, only funnier.

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Would someone explain this to me? July is National Hot Dog Month. While that's all well and good, it still doesn't justify or explain the Frankfurter Converter. And if that doesn't boggle the mind, this should. It seems that hot dogs are a universal language.

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Happy Independence Day, Folks!