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Hi, my name is margeaux may, and I'm freaking out for a stupid reason.

a boy likes me.

And I'm a total freak right now. Good god, what the hell is wrong with me? It's like I'm still in grade school and all 'ooo, a boy likes me, I have to giggle and run away now because he has COOTIES' but I can't run away since I have a cell-phone leash and he *can* catch me.

bastard.

See, it was ok in the beginning of the week because I didn't have TIME to freak out. We set it up, went out 90 minutes later, had a great time, there was no time to panic. But NOW--I'm going to dinner tonight with him and you would think it's the Inquisition and I might not make it out alive so I should start. panicking. now. What the hell is wrong with me?! I'm 26, not 6. This has got to stop.

Of course, that doesn't mean it will.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

::running off to hide under my desk::

I've been freaking out since yesterday (had time to think and such) and it's escalating into me doing something stupid, I'm sure. I'm going to go to dinner, jam a cocktail straw into my eye and excuse myself to the ER so I can get some damn drugs to calm down.

Why is this so hard for me?! I'm not used to being persued. or noticed. or, y'know, anything. it's been too long. I can't do this. I don't know how. I need summer school for retarded daters.

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And this week: the freaking is over, and I'm back to (as much as is it for me) normal. The situation: ehh. I think it's over. For the good.

Those of you who held my hand thru this entire debacle, a huge Thanks! goes your way. Cuz I love you and know that you like me no matter what.

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