"The Salton Sea", opening nationwide Friday 5/17.

ED: He liked it. (He actually saw this one.) And you get to learn all about 'crank' (aka meth). I'll take his word on this: "there was character development" in there somewhere.

EM: I hated it. I want my 2 hours back. Val Kilmer never redeemed himself after The Saint, and this isn't going to help his cause; Vincent D'Onofrio can do no wrong, so he was nice to see but a throw-away. Adam Goldberg (familiar-looking) and B. D. Wong (HITG*) are good, but you spend a good chunk of time trying to figure out where you know them from. Luckily, this movie gives you plenty of time to ponder while it lumbers through 'dialog' and 'editing'. Written by the author of "Murder by Num8ers" and directed by the bad series 'guest director' D. J. Caruso (who calls themself D.J. anymore?), this film really didn't have a chance until ER's Eriq LaSalle came on to produce. I guess ER pays their people too much if he had money to throw at this! I almost forgot that Meat Loaf guests as Bo, but since he goes by his alternaname Michael Lee Aday it's a legitimate theatrical attempt.

(*Hey! It's That Guy!)

Oh, I'm sorry. Plot: Shot in "this is what happened as now the world burns around me and I try to play the tortured trumpet without blowing air out of my lungs", we follow Val as he does drugs, rats out drug dealers, rats out bad cops, and kills all sorts of people--all to avenge his murdered wife. And then he gets shot, as do other people. Unfortunately, the wrong people are shot in the wrong order, so the movie goes on for about 100 minutes too long. And did I mention the drugs? The whole thing is right out of "Requiem of a Dream". I think we're in the midst of Hollywood's willing drug seduction. If you don't learn the entire history of the drug/abuse, they haven't done their duty. They also decided to do a complimentary PSA on the dangers of keeping a spear gun around a tweaker...I can just see the tag line: "Meth and high-powered harpoons don't mix."

"The Salton Sea" is this year's "The Way of the Gun" or "Summer of Sam". Pain, people, pain. Go see "Dogtown and Z-Boys" instead. It's shorter and the soundtrack rocks.