Let me amend that. I can't have any fun that costs any money this weekend. I already spent all my 'fun' money on other things that I need to need to have. Like what? I'll tell you what! Dishes and dvd players, my friend.

Monday, I rushed over to the White Elephant where Sunday, after church, I had fallen in love with a china set. I don't know why, but it called to me...so I went to purchase it on Monday in hopes that its siren call hadn't lured any other takers. Luckily, I was the only one who wanted it, so I started wrapping it all up and putting it in a box to carry home. Now, I've been packing and unpacking dinnerware for years for various moves. I can pack breakables like a chillin' villian. But do you know how HEAVY newspaper is? I think they use extra-heavy cardstock to print the Reader, because that box was a frickin' metric ton. I paid (they were half-off! woo!) and waited for the bus. I had no worries, no problems in the immediate future. Take the bus home, walk 1.5 blocks to my door, and voila! new dishes!

I'm sorry, did you notice that big elephant labelled 'weak girly arms' in the room? Yeah, I missed that one. It would have been helpful approximately 90 seconds into this entire ordeal.

I got off the bus and crossed Halsted. No problems. It's a large box, very awkward for me to carry, but I can do it. It's just a little more than a block. How easy! And look! New dishes!
New dishes that weigh a lot.
Dishes that are ripping my arms off.
Frickin' old heavy-ass dishes that aren't worth the money I paid for 'em, and why do they have to weigh so. damn. much????

I'm sort of lurching down the sidewalk with a determined stride, fingertips the only thing keeping this box from violently meeting gravity. I have to stop every 100 yards or so to readjust and re-hoist and hope that the tape on the bottom of the box will hold because wouldn't *that* suck? I'm sure it would've been a great set-up for some Candid Camera--make people carry incredibly awkward and heavy things. That's all--you don't have to antagonize 'em or talk to them or anything. They'll entertain you all alone. Why? Because they'll talk to themself. They'll make up little songs about how heavy the dishes are but how much they love those pretty heavy dishes. They'll curse and laugh and giggle and cough and readjust and mutter dire threats and generally be funny as they waddle down the street with a box too big for their arms.

I got to my gate and it was luckily open, leaving one last major hurdle: 5 stairs up to the porch. I have never seen stairs this tall before in my life, and that's counting the Mayan ruins. Two quick huffs of air and then CHARGE! up the stairs to promptly drop the box on the bench and massage feeling back into deadened fingers. I think I pinched a nerve or something--I don't have a right arm anymore. Or at least one that I can feel. Here's the quandry--wait a few minutes to finish carrying them into the kitchen at the back of the house, or do it right away so it's done and I can put my fatigued muscles to rest on the couch? I wanted the former, but opted for the latter. It was a knuckle-scraping event, but then it was over. I called my mom, scooped some celebratory ice cream, and bragged like any self-respecting homeowner (or wannabe) about my new dishes. Then I started unpacking to wash them. A plethora of plates, flat soup bowls, ice cream bowls, cups and saucers, platters and serving bowls--I have arrived! Service for 10! I can have a party where all my dinnerware MATCHES!!! I am so happy. I can't find any pictures or I'd show you how cute it is; just take it from me. Cute. In a vintage, M's being whimsical way.

Then yesterday, I was supposed to go to the dentist. Who likes to do that? Not me, which is why I planned a jaunt to Best Buy to reward my good behavior. Well, the dentist screwed up, forgot to schedule me in their books, so I was off to Best Buy to reward, well, nothing. But it's a pre-reward for next week, right? Anyway, I toddled out of there with my new best friend Samsung, which will now be playing my dvds from now on.
Or until it gets stolen.

So, dishes! Yay!
DVD player! Yay! (It works just fine. I popped in MR and went away happy.)

So really, I spent good money on good things. Unfortunately, now that means I'll have to curtail my rock & roll lifestyle for a weekend...Whatever will I do?