Happy Birthday, girl. I'd wish you as much fun as I had that year, but it's still a bit fuzzy and you're not into that kind of thing. But I know it's gonna be a great year. Now, if you'd only move into the city... Well, there's always next year!

~~~~~

Right. So I was recently inspired to be all crafty and make some cute bags for fun and self-entertainment. I had a new pattern and my sewing machine was just cleaned, so it should be easy as pie, right? Famous last words in my world. I was inspired to use pillowcases as my material of choice, so I headed over to the Brown Elephant for some shopping. As I'm without a fabric store anywhere nearby, necessity is the mother of innovation. I found some 70s-era napkins, a tacky-ass flat sheet, and a spot-resistant tablecloth. Victory for $7.41! Home I went, eschewing the need for interface because the first few were just for practice.

Um, a perfectionist doesn't 'do' practice projects. Even the practice projects are supposed to be perfect. This became apparent when I was faced with the striped napkin for bag #1. I couldn't pick the random pattern, no... I had to start with something that would test my OCD tendencies regarding matching. Sweet Christmas. I thow on High Society, got the scissors out, and stare in indecision--to cut, or not to cut. Stripes--vertical or horizontal? Bag small, medium, wee? Style? How to fashion the strap out of scraps? How long should it be? Am I insane?! I fold the fabric in half, cut down the center, and immediately facepalm because I *should* have cut the strap out of the center and saved myself a lot of work. But no, now I'm trying to match stripes and sew the strap together and turn it rightside out. I realize that this project might take longer than the 20 minutes I expected it to. All I'm doing is sewing 7 seams, a few edges, and voila, a bag!
Um, not quite. There are stripes, and the stripes must line up in an orderly fashion, and they're not quite perfect. So there's some glaring and some huffing and I press the hell out of that seam because that's pretty much all I can do right now. I notice that my bobbin tension isn't too pretty when I rip out a seam, and so I fiddle with that. There's a small moment of 'yes, I can do this!' and then I'm back to black shame. I realize that it's been a while since I last tackled a sewing project, so I cautiously wade thru the intracacies of pinning the correct sides together to make sure all the seams face the right way. And, of course, the stripes need to match. More angst, more pinning, and then the introduction of the strap. In the process of turning the whole project right-side out, I realize that I attached the strap in a way that now buries it in the middle of the bag when turned right. AAAAAAAHHHH! Ripping and swearing commences. I'm less angry than embarassed; I was a sewing queen in my teen years. I was a frickin' *grand champion* in clothing construction, a grande dame in DeKalb County. And now...I can't even do this. I rearranged the straps, did some more sewing, and crossed my fingers. After a good press and shake, the bag looked...well, not quite professional, but better than originally expected. I even got cocky and did a decorative stitch around the top. I called home to whinge (as I do when any of my domestic projects goes awry) but already have plans for bag #2. I'm eyeing at that spot-resistant cloth; there's a good bag in there, I think. I think this time, tho, I need some fancier thread. And some rick rack. And some bias tape. And a pocket. And some applique. And...

You get the idea. There are going to be a LOT of bags gifted in the next few weeks. This is not going to be pretty.

~~~~~